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Understanding Sundowning: Why Evenings Are Harder (and What Can Help)
Understanding sundowning and why dementia symptoms can become more difficult in the evening. Discover common triggers and gentle, practical ways caregivers can bring greater calm, comfort and reassurance.
CARING FOR LOVED ONESAGED & DEMENTIA CARECARE GIVER SUPPORT
9/3/20263 min read
If you've noticed that your loved one seems more confused, restless or agitated as the afternoon turns into evening, you're not imagining it - and you're definitely not alone. This pattern has a name: sundowning. It's one of the most common (and most exhausting) parts of caring for someone with dementia, and understanding why it happens can make it feel a little less bewildering, even if it doesn't make it easy.
What Sundowning Looks Like
Sundowning isn't one specific behaviour - it's a pattern of worsening symptoms that tends to show up in the late afternoon and evening. You might notice:
● Increased confusion or disorientation about time, place or people
● Restlessness, pacing or an urge to "go home" even when they're already home
● Agitation, irritability or tearfulness that seems to come from nowhere
● Difficulty settling for the evening, or resisting going to bed
● Shadowing you around the house, or asking the same questions more insistently
Why It Happens
No one knows the exact cause, but a few things seem to play a part. Fatigue builds up over the day, and a tired brain has less capacity to cope with confusion. Fading light can make rooms harder to read visually, which is unsettling for someone whose depth perception and processing are already affected. The internal body clock that regulates sleep and wake cycles is often disrupted by dementia, so evenings can genuinely feel like the "wrong" time of day to the person experiencing it. And if the household gets busier in the evening - dinner, TV, family coming home - that extra noise and activity can simply be too much to process.
Simple Things That Can Help
Keep the day predictable
A consistent daily rhythm - similar wake time, meals, and activities at similar times - gives the brain fewer surprises to manage. It won't eliminate sundowning, but it often softens it.
Get ahead of the light change
Turn lamps on before it starts getting dark outside, rather than after. Closing curtains before dusk can also help, so the change isn't as noticeable or disorientating. Times get busy, I found a timer worked well for my lights.
Wind things down, not up
Where you can, save the busier, noisier parts of the day for the morning, and keep afternoons and evenings calmer - softer voices, less background noise, fewer visitors.
Watch for the basics
Hunger, thirst, needing the toilet, or being in pain can all show up as agitation in someone who can't easily tell you what's wrong. A quick check of the basics is always worth doing before trying anything else.
Offer reassurance, not logic
If they want to "go home" or are looking for someone from years ago, resist the urge to correct them with facts. Try responding to the feeling instead - "You miss her, don't you. Tell me about her" - rather than the specifics.
Have a calming go-to activity ready
A familiar playlist, a warm drink, folding towels together, or simply sitting outside for a few minutes can help redirect restless energy without a confrontation.
When to Reach Out for Extra Support
If sundowning is happening most evenings, is getting more intense, or is putting your loved one's safety (or your own wellbeing) at risk, it's worth mentioning to their GP or specialist. Sometimes there are underlying causes - pain, a urinary tract infection, or medication timing - that can be addressed. And if you're finding the evenings consistently overwhelming, that's a sign to loop in more support for yourself too, not just them.
Kim's Tips ♥
● ♥ Try to have your own "low point" strategy too - evenings are hard on you as the carer, not just them. A cup of tea and five minutes to breathe counts.
● ♥ Keep a small notebook of what seems to help (or not) on different evenings - patterns often become clearer over a week or two than they are in any single moment.
● ♥ It's not something you're doing wrong. Sundowning is a symptom of the condition, not a reflection of your caregiving.
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With love, Kim xx
Medical Disclaimer
This article provides general information and education only and is not a substitute for personalised medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please speak with a GP or qualified healthcare professional about any concerns regarding sundowning, dementia or changes in your loved one’s health or behaviour. For urgent medical help, call your local emergency service
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